The thing about the holidays is that while we may look forward to them, when they finally arrive, we end up thinking that things went by too fast, and they’re gone before we even had the time to enjoy them. How about making this year different? How about taking some time to make some fun? After all, this should be a time of joyous celebration.
This holiday let’s take a look at what we can do to put some enjoyment back into the season. Bake those cookies and eat a few of them… without guilt. Set aside some time to fuss over wrapping your presents so they look fantastic. Go to that movie that looked so good in the previews. Take yourself out for a nice dinner somewhere special. If you can’t afford it, then at least spend some time doing something nice for yourself. Take a hot bubble bath, light a scented candle and gaze at the Christmas tree, or spend the time giving yourself that manicure or pedicure you’ve been needing. It’s time to be nice to yourself!
It can help to plan for this ahead of time. If the season gets busy fast, put one or two self-care things on your calendar, just like you would any other event. Pick a day to bake. Pick a night for a movie. Pick a quiet hour for a bath, a book, or music. When you write it down, you are more likely to actually do it. And when you do, you may find that the season feels less rushed and more like something you can enjoy.
You know, the world won’t end if you go into the season with a house that isn’t perfectly clean. That is a relief for many of us. A home does not have to look like a magazine spread for the holidays to be special. If you need to, focus on the places people will see and let the rest go. A swept kitchen, a clear path to the table, and a tidy bathroom can be enough. Save your energy for the people and moments that matter.
If you are short on time or energy, try breaking chores into small pieces. Put away clutter for 10 minutes. Wipe one counter. Sort one basket of mail. Then stop. Small steps still count. This is especially helpful for people who get tired easily or who live with pain, fatigue, or other disability-related limits. You do not have to do everything at once.
If you’re thinking your in-laws are feeling more like outlaws, then maybe it’s time to set some rules for participating in holiday celebrations. Be gentle but be firm. The holidays should be pleasurable for everyone, and if you are all fearful of that one relative that ruins the party for everyone else, then maybe it’s time to tell that person that if they want to join the festivities, then they need to follow a few rules too.
That may mean setting clear limits before the gathering starts. For example, you might say no arguing at the table, no rude comments, or no surprise guests. You can also set a time limit for the visit. It is okay to protect your peace. It is okay to say what you need. A calm, simple message is often best. You do not need a long speech. Just be clear, be respectful, and stick to the plan.
Sometimes it helps to have a backup plan if someone does not follow the rules. You might decide to change the topic, take a short break, or end the visit early. If you have trusted family or friends, let them know ahead of time so they can support you. The goal is not to create more stress. The goal is to make the holiday safer and more pleasant for everyone who is trying to enjoy it.
This holiday make things different. Stop and enjoy the sights, smells, tastes and sounds of the season. December will soon be over. You can worry about what’s coming some other time. For now, enjoy all the traditions and the beauty of the season. When this holiday is over you should be able to say, “Whew! This year was different! This time I had a blast!” Happy Holidays!
For some people, enjoying the season also means making the holidays more accessible. That might mean planning rest time between events, checking whether a place has accessible parking or entrances, or asking for help with travel, gifts, or food. If you use a wheelchair, scooter, cane, hearing aid, or any other support, it is okay to think ahead about what you will need. A little planning can make a big difference.
For example, if a gathering is loud, you might want to sit near a quieter spot. If standing for long periods is hard, ask for a chair near the activity. If bright lights or strong smells bother you, choose a place in the room where you feel more comfortable. If you need help with shopping, wrapping, or getting to an event, ask early. People often want to help, but they may not know what you need unless you tell them.
And if this season feels harder than usual, please remember that you are not the only one. Holidays can bring stress, loneliness, money worries, grief, family tension, and changes in routine. It is all right to slow down. It is all right to skip a tradition. It is all right to make new traditions that fit your life now. Sometimes the best holiday gift is giving yourself permission to do less and enjoy more.
If you would like help finding disability resources or making a plan that works for you, Disability Network Lakeshore can help. Our services are free. We are a nonprofit Center for Independent Living serving people with disabilities in Ottawa and Allegan counties, Michigan. You can call us at (616) 396-5326, and we are located at 442 Century Lane, Holland, MI 49423. We help people find and use disability resources so they can take part in their communities more fully.
Whether you are looking for information, support, or just a place to start, you do not have to figure it out alone. We understand how frustrating it can be when the right resources are hard to find. That is why we work to connect people with the help they need.
This season, give yourself a little grace. Make time for joy. Make room for rest. Set a few kind rules. Let go of what does not matter. And then, when the season is over, you may find that you did more than get through it. You enjoyed it.