A while back, I thought I’d done a fairly good job at learning to live with PTSD, but I hit another bump in the road and everything went up-side-down again. It was depressing enough just to experience another trauma, but I did not expect to find myself back with all the symptoms of PTSD: the flashbacks (although now they included a new event), the sleepless nights, the brain fog, and all the other inconveniences that are so familiar. I felt I’d made progress so far as dealing with all of that, and now it was back to square one.
That kind of setback can shake you more than you expect. It can make you feel tired, scared, angry, and plain worn out. It can also make you doubt your own progress. I know I did. When you have worked hard to get better at managing PTSD, it is hard to face those old symptoms again and feel like you have to start over. But even when it feels that way, the work you did before was not wasted. It still matters. It still helped me get through the first round, and it is helping me now.
Moving Forward Again
As I move forward once more, I find it’s not quite as difficult as it was the first time around. That gives me some hope since if another trauma occurs, I don’t want to find myself in the same situation yet again. I hate being here! I don’t like living with PTSD, especially when it’s active and bothering me. But, like everyone else, I go on. We have to do the best we can.
That is one of the hardest parts of PTSD. It does not wait until life is calm. It can show up when you are already dealing with stress, family needs, work problems, money worries, or health issues. Then it adds more weight on top. So when I say we have to go on, I do not mean we have to act like everything is fine. I mean we keep taking the next step we can take. Sometimes that step is very small. Sometimes it is only getting through the morning, or making it through one hard moment without giving up.
I am trying to learn new coping mechanisms. I’m working on anger management issues, and I’m also employing all the methods I used in the past to make it back on my feet. It’s not an easy task, as you well know. PTSD doesn’t peacefully amble along with you. It rips your life up and gets a stranglehold on you and it takes work to pull yourself out again. I’m lucky that I have people around who understand to help.
Coping Tools That Can Help
When PTSD is active, coping tools can help you get through the day. Not every tool works for every person, and that is okay. The goal is not to do everything perfectly. The goal is to find a few things that help you feel a little safer, a little calmer, or a little more steady.
Here are some simple things that may help when symptoms are strong:
- Keep a routine. Try to wake up, eat, and go to bed at regular times when you can. A steady routine can make the day feel more predictable.
- Take breaks. If your mind feels foggy or your body feels tense, step away for a few minutes. Sit in a quiet room, take slow breaths, or drink a glass of water.
- Use grounding skills. Focus on what is around you right now. Name five things you can see, four things you can feel, three things you can hear, two things you can smell, and one thing you can taste.
- Write things down. If your brain feels full, make a short list. Write down what you need to do next. Keeping it simple can make a hard day feel more manageable.
- Limit extra stress where you can. If something can wait, let it wait. If a task feels too big, break it into smaller parts.
- Reach out to someone safe. A friend, family member, support person, or counselor may help you feel less alone.
For me, anger management is part of the work now. Sometimes PTSD does not only bring fear or sadness. It can also bring irritability or a quick temper. That can be hard on you and the people around you. If anger is one of your symptoms, it may help to notice the warning signs early. Maybe your jaw gets tight. Maybe your hands clench. Maybe your thoughts start racing. When that happens, stepping away for a few minutes can help you avoid saying or doing something you do not mean.
It can also help to think ahead about what calms you down. Some people do better with quiet. Some need to move their body. Some need to talk it out. Some need time alone first. Knowing what helps you can make it easier to use those tools when stress rises.
Why Support Matters
I’m lucky that I have people around who understand to help. That kind of support matters a great deal. PTSD can make you feel cut off from other people, even when they are right there. That is why it helps to have someone who can listen without judging, believe you, and give you room to heal at your own pace.
If you do not have that kind of support right now, you are not alone in that either. It can be hard to ask for help, especially when you feel weak or embarrassed. But reaching out can be part of healing. You do not have to explain everything at once. You can start small. You can say, “I am having a hard time,” or “I do not need advice, I just need someone to listen.”
If you need help finding resources, Disability Network Lakeshore can help. Our services are free. We serve people with disabilities in Ottawa and Allegan counties, Michigan. You can call us at (616) 396-5326. Sometimes just having one person help you sort through the next step can make things feel less heavy.
Getting Back on Your Feet
For anyone trying to regain ground after a setback, I wish the best for you. While it’s not easy, getting back to where you can feel the sunshine again is well worth the effort. Good luck in your journey.
I know that sounds simple, but it is true. Healing does not always move in a straight line. Some days you may feel stronger. Other days you may feel like you are back where you started. That does not mean you failed. It means you are still in the process. And the process can be long.
If you are living with PTSD, be gentle with yourself. Give yourself credit for the things you do manage to do. Getting dressed. Making a phone call. Eating a meal. Asking for help. These may seem small, but they can be big victories when you are struggling.
And if you have already learned some ways to cope, do not be afraid to use them again. Sometimes the old tools are still the best ones. Sometimes the path back starts with the same steps you used before. One step at a time, you can keep going.