I Get By With A Little Help From My Friends: Recovery

I’ve made no secret of the fact that I have arthritis, and that it has caused me to be disabled. Last week I had a total left hip replacement and as I heal and hopefully regain some of the strength and movement I’d lost, I am struck by how much of a struggle it is to be disabled. Whether it is a permanent disability or a temporary one, it makes life difficult at best.

When I say “difficult,” I mean the small things can become huge. Getting out of bed can take planning. Standing long enough to make a meal can wear you out. A simple trip across the room can take more thought than most people realize. Pain, brain fog, weakness, and soreness can all pile up at once. Even on a good day, you may have to think ahead about what you need, how much energy you have, and what you can safely do. That is true whether you are healing from surgery or living with a long-term disability.

First, let me say that it is my friends and the professionals who are treating me that are making it possible for me to weather such a storm of pain, chemical-induced brain fog, and soreness. My sister has been such a blessing to me, staying with me most of the first week, making meals, cleaning up after my dogs, and generally running herself ragged doing for me. I’ve done it for her in the past, so I understand what it is like. I cannot imagine how people who have no one or can’t afford to hire someone to manage. Wow! Doing all these things on your own while trying to heal would really make the healing process slower.

That part matters more than people may think. Recovery is not just about medicine and rest. It is also about food, laundry, clean dishes, safe movement, and having someone nearby if you need help. If you live alone, it can help to make a short plan before surgery or before a hard stretch in your health. Think about who can check on you, who can bring food, and who can help with pets or housework. Even one or two helpers can make a big difference.

In addition to my sister have been my friends. I am fortunate in having a good friend who I know I can call on at any time for help. She came and stayed with me the first day just in case I needed someone to be there. She did not expect to be entertained, but instead stepped in and did laundry and dishes and all the things that were getting ahead of my sister. Another friend is a nurse and patiently kept repeating the things I needed to be most aware of as my healing progressed. Another was an EMT and was able to pinpoint the problem when I became dehydrated and my electrolytes became imbalanced. They were wonderful. I am so greatly blessed!

Friends can help in different ways. Some can stay with you. Some can drive you. Some can listen. Some know medical things and can help you keep track of symptoms or reminders from your doctor. Others are good at everyday jobs that seem small until you cannot do them yourself. If you are the one healing, it can help to be honest about what you need. People often want to help, but they may not know how unless you tell them.

And then there is the assistive technology that I relied on to make me as independent as possible. First was a cane. No, I don’t use it to walk yet. Instead, it allows me to lift my leg when I am too weak to do it otherwise. It also is great for adjusting blankets, and a million other chores. It was the physical therapist in the hospital that tipped me off to that one.

That is a good reminder that assistive tools are not just for one use. A cane, walker, shoehorn, or other device can help in ways you may not expect. A tool can save energy, protect your joints, or help you reach something without twisting or straining. It can also help you stay more independent, which matters a lot when you are trying to heal.

My 4-wheeled walker allows to me walk feeling supported and if I get tired, I can turn it around and sit down. It’s high enough for me to get up and down without difficulty. I use a long-handled shoehorn, a commode by the bed (which bites if you aren’t very careful!), and a sock aid to put my socks on. I was fortunate enough to have a bed that allows the head and feet to be raised and that has helped tremendously.

If you are looking at tools like these, think about the tasks that are hardest for you. Is it standing? Reaching? Putting on socks? Getting from bed to chair? A simple device can make one of those jobs safer and less tiring. It can also help to set things up before you need them. Keep items you use often within easy reach. Put the phone, water, and medicines where you can get to them without extra steps. Little changes can save a lot of effort.

And, finally, I have to think about my fat, old beagle, Sophie. She’s going to be 9 years old this year. She has Cushing’s Disease and isn’t in the best health herself, but she stepped right up and parked her butt in the doorway into my room as a reminder to all that Mom was laid up and they’d better be careful or she’d be dead from the ankles down to them! She has followed me from room to room, always watching over me. Now, how blessed is that?!

Pets can be part of the support system too. They may not bring soup or fold laundry, but they can offer comfort, routine, and a reason to keep moving. Sometimes they also do a very good job of telling everyone in the house that things need to slow down. Sophie did that for me in her own special way.

All of these things make it a bit easier being disabled. I will have arthritis for the rest of my life, but I won’t be disabled forever. I will heal and likely be able to do more than before the surgery. But I think about the people that have mobility limitations that they will live with the rest of their lives. And those who can’t depend on their clear thinking to figure out the easiest way to solve problems. Then there are those who have lost their sight or hearing. They don’t want to be thought of as anything special. They are just like you and me, finding ways to cope with a disability on a daily basis and making the most of their lives as best they can. It helps to know we can do it. After all, we get by with a little help from our friends!

That is why support matters so much. A disability can change how a person moves, thinks, hears, sees, or does daily tasks. It can also change how people plan their day. But a disability does not take away a person’s value, skill, or dignity. Many people just need the right tools, the right help, and the chance to do things their own way.

At Disability Network Lakeshore, we help people find disability resources and use them. Our services are free. If you live in Ottawa or Allegan counties and need help, call (616) 396-5326 or visit us at 442 Century Lane, Holland, MI 49423. We can help with information and referral, peer support, skills development, transition, advocacy, and more. Sometimes the right answer starts with one phone call.

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442 Century Lane
Holland, MI 49423

Services

Advocacy

Assistance Animals

Information & Referral

Peer Support

Emergency Readiness

Social Security Disability

Social Participation

Veterans

Skills Development

Employment

Transition

Nursing Home Transition

Youth Services