If 2020 has taken a toll on you and you couldn't wait for 2021 to arrive, then it may be you’re fighting the blues. Many people are these days. 2020 has been a difficult year for most of us because of financial woes, job losses, illness, and depression. That’s just the tip of the iceberg for many, but there are some things you can do to beat the blues too.
Take Stock of What You Have Survived
Many of us are feeling pretty negative about what has happened to us in 2020, but if you are able to read this, then you have been successful in surviving a worldwide pandemic. That’s pretty big, and let’s face it, it didn’t happen without some effort on your part! You got through days that may have felt long, confusing, and heavy. You may have had to change how you shopped, worked, visited loved ones, or got care. That takes strength, even if it did not feel that way at the time.
But you may be left with some pretty negative thoughts about this year. Why did it happen? What could have been done better, faster, or with more forethought to mitigate the negative effects of the pandemic? Those are fair questions. It is normal to look back and wish things had gone differently. Still, it can help to stop there for a moment and notice that you made it through a hard time. That matters.
Now, try thinking instead about what you will be taking away from this experience. You are a survivor, and what you’ve learned can help others when/if they go through similar experiences. Take a moment to create a Pandemic Journal and leave some notes for your family on what you’ve learned from this historical event and what might help them survive a similar experience. You do not have to write a lot. A few honest notes can be enough. You might write down what helped you stay calm, what made life easier, and what you wish you had known sooner. Later, those notes may help you or someone you love.
Look for the Good Things
Look for the good things in life, and don’t be afraid to ask for help when you need it. It’s so easy to focus on the things that cause us pain or make life harder, but there is usually a silver lining if you just take the time to look for it. This does not mean pretending that hard things are not real. It means giving the good things a place in your mind too. Maybe you had a quiet morning. Maybe a neighbor checked on you. Maybe you finished a task you had been putting off. Small wins count.
Are you lonely? You’re alive, and you’re able to reach out to others and help them. Call a friend or family member and let them know you’re thinking of them. You do not have to have the perfect words. A simple “I wanted to check in on you” can open a door. If phone calls are hard, send a text or leave a voicemail. If you enjoy cards or notes, send one. The point is to connect in some way. Connection can help break up the feeling that you are stuck alone with your thoughts.
Have you lost your job? There are many different organizations available to help you jazz up your resume, learn how to interview more successfully, and locate employment (Disability Network/Lakeshore is one of them). If you have not looked for work in a while, start small. Gather your work history. Write down the jobs you held, skills you used, and tasks you did well. If you need help, ask someone you trust to review your resume. Practice saying a few short answers to common interview questions. Getting ready step by step can make the next move feel less scary.
Having trouble keeping enough food in the house, finding a place to live, or meeting other needs? The thing is, no one can help you if you shut yourself off and don’t allow them to help. That can be hard to hear when you are tired or embarrassed, but asking for help is not failure. It is a practical step. Start with one need. If food is the biggest concern, call for food support first. If housing is the urgent need, reach out to housing help. If you need help figuring out where to begin, DNL can help with free services and information. Call us at (616) 396-5326.
Practice Gratitude in Simple Ways
Work on developing an attitude of gratitude, and yes, it can be work. Remember, things could be worse. You live in a free country, you have people who care about you (yes, we do care!), and the sun will shine again. It can be hard to remember that, but if you look at the good things you have instead of what you don’t have, it’s easier to get a better perspective on the situation.
Gratitude does not mean ignoring pain. It means making room for hope. You can try it in a few plain, daily ways:
- Write down one good thing each day, even if it is very small.
- Say thank you to someone who helped you.
- Notice one thing your body, mind, or home helped you do today.
- Think of one person you are glad to know.
- Remind yourself of one hard thing you got through before.
These small steps can help shift your thoughts when the blues start to take over. They may not change everything at once, but they can give your mind a better place to land. And when the days are short and the weather is cold, that little bit of light can matter more than we think.
Give Yourself Permission to Take the Next Step
If you are overwhelmed by the events of 2020, and you are struggling to get by, please call Disability Network/Lakeshore and let us help. That’s why we’re here. We offer employment services, peer support, life skills training, and so much more! Sometimes the hardest part is making the first call. You do not need to have everything sorted out before you call. You can simply say that you are having a hard time and need help figuring out what to do next.
We offer help in many areas, and our services are free. That can include support with work goals, daily living skills, and finding the right resources. We can also help people connect with others who understand what living with a disability can be like. If you are facing a lot at once, talking with someone who listens can make the path ahead feel a little clearer.
You can call us at 616.396.5326 or contact us here. If calling feels hard, try writing down your questions first. You might ask about job help, peer support, or other services that fit your needs. If you are helping a family member, you can call too. Sometimes one call can open the door to several kinds of support.
Keep Going, One Day at a Time
The blues can make everything feel bigger and heavier than it is. They can make it hard to think, hard to sleep, and hard to get moving. But even then, you can take one small step. You can drink a glass of water. You can open a window for fresh air. You can call someone. You can write one line in your journal. You can ask for help. None of these steps fix everything, but each one can help you move forward.
As this new year begins, give yourself some credit for what you have already made it through. You have lived through a very hard time. You have learned things about yourself, your needs, and your strength. Those lessons matter. Use them. Share them. Hold on to them when the days feel long.
And if you need help getting back on your feet, remember that DNL is here. We are a Center for Independent Living serving people with disabilities in Ottawa and Allegan counties, and our services are free. Call (616) 396-5326. We would be glad to help.