To me, it feels as though life with PTSD has become more difficult with this pandemic crisis. Emotions are closer to the surface for everyone these days, and it just seems as though people fly off the handle at the drop of a hat. It sure makes life scary for someone who has PTSD. We tend to see life as a dangerous experience, to begin with, and when you stir in the tensions and fears of COVID-19, it gets even worse. We normally live on the edge, always waiting for something bad to happen. With the coronavirus added in, not only are we hard-wired for flight or fight, but it seems like everyone else is too. That makes for a very volatile environment for all of us.
When I look around, I can see why so many of us feel worn down. There is tension in the air. People are tired. Worry can build up fast when you are hearing bad news, dealing with changes at work, or trying to keep up with what is safe and what is not. For someone with PTSD, those things can hit even harder. A loud voice, a sudden change in plans, or an angry look from another person can feel like more than a small moment. It can feel like a warning. That is part of what makes this time so hard.
I’ve recently been thinking about what we can do to deescalate the situation. How do we, as a society, chill out and relax, especially in the face of the current crisis? Many of our usual supports are no longer available to us. We can’t just run to the gym to work off some of our anxiety. We can’t fall back on our support groups as most of them aren’t meeting. And, add in the stress that comes from having the kids back in school only part-time (if that). That’s even more stress! It makes for a very unstable environment. It’s no wonder that domestic abuse is on the rise, that civil unrest is building, and that so many of us are finding ourselves struggling to cope with the fear and anxiety of the day.
When the usual ways of coping are cut off, it can help to make a new plan. A plan does not have to be fancy. It can be small and steady. For example, if the gym is not an option, a person might take a walk outside, stretch in the living room, or follow a simple routine at home. If a support group is not meeting in person, maybe one friend can be a safe person to call once a week. If the house feels tense, it may help to step into another room, take a few slow breaths, and give yourself a short break before talking. Small steps may not fix everything, but they can lower the pressure.
Perhaps this is a good time to bring back those things that strengthen our faith. Many churches are still not holding full services, but most are doing some on-line activities and even outdoor services. If you don’t already meditate, this might be the time to start. Seeking that place of calm within ourselves may be the best bet we have for finding peace now. And, while we may not be able to participate in support group activities, that doesn’t stop us from calling one or two of the friends we have from the groups we were going to and asking to meet for a brief chat. While large groups aren’t being held, small groups still allow us to interact with others while social distancing.
Faith can help in simple ways. A short prayer in the morning, reading a passage that gives comfort, or joining an online service can help set the tone for the day. Meditation can also be simple. You do not need special gear or a long session. You can sit in a quiet spot, rest your feet on the floor, and focus on your breathing for a few minutes. If your mind wanders, that is okay. Just bring your attention back to your breath. The goal is not to do it perfectly. The goal is to give your nervous system a break.
It can also help to notice what makes a day feel a little safer. Some people do better with less news during the day. Others need a steady routine, like getting up at the same time, eating meals on time, and keeping the evening calm. If you know certain talks or places make you feel on edge, try to limit them when you can. If you live with others, it may help to let them know what you need in plain words. You might say, “I need a quiet minute,” or “Let’s talk about this later.” Clear words can prevent more stress.
Reaching out matters too. A short phone call, a text, or a brief visit with someone who understands can make a hard day easier. You do not need to carry everything alone. If you have a person who listens well, let them know how you are doing. If you are the one who listens, be patient and kind. Sometimes being heard is what helps most. And if you need support or information, Disability Network Lakeshore can help. Our services are free, and we are here to help people with disabilities in Ottawa and Allegan counties. You can call us at (616) 396-5326.
There are also a few practical things that can help when stress rises fast:
- Keep a short list of calming things that work for you.
- Use slow breathing when you feel your body getting tense.
- Take breaks from hard news if it is making you feel worse.
- Stay in touch with one trusted person instead of isolating.
- Make time for rest, even if the day feels full.
- Use small routines to give the day more order.
These steps may sound simple, but simple is often what we need most. When life feels uncertain, simple habits can help us feel more steady. They can also help keep a hard moment from turning into a much bigger one. That matters now, when so many people are already feeling close to their limit.
It’s a new world these days. Finding the supports we need to stay sane may prove to be a bit more difficult, but it’s not impossible. And, while times may be hard today, one thing I’ve learned in my advanced years is that the pendulum will swing back again. Better times are coming, my friend. Count on it.
Until then, be gentle with yourself and with others. We are all trying to get through a hard season. If you can find one calm moment, one safe person, or one small habit that helps you feel more grounded, that is a good start. And if you need a hand finding disability resources or support, Disability Network Lakeshore is here for you at 442 Century Lane, Holland, MI 49423, and by phone at (616) 396-5326. Our services are free.